Ever wondered what it’s like to be “on the other side” of my chaos proof, customizable wellness method? In today’s episode, I sit down with Kelly Nicassio, who recently graduated from the Wellness Reborn Intensive, to hear about her experience. She is a wife, a mother to 2 daughters and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Her insight on how the methods she learned helped her in all aspects of her life are going to Rock Your Wellness!
Disclaimer: This podcast does not constitute medical advice. You should always speak to your doctor before changing your nutrition or exercise habits.
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Inside Intensive Coaching – episode transcript
Lauren Chante 1:09
Hello rockstars! Welcome back to the podcast. I have a super special guest today. I have Kelly. She is a wife, a mother to two daughters and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Southern California. Today we’re talking about wellness for therapists!
Lauren Chante 1:22
I actually have not invited her on to share her amazing therapy skills, which she does have amazing therapy skills, but I’ve invited her on because she’s a recent graduate of my Wellness Reborn Intensive and I wanted to bring on somebody who you guys could really connect with and see that wellness for therapists is so similar to wellness for all of us.
Lauren Chante 1:39
Someone maybe you can see yourselves in, in their situation, because I really find that when we hear the stories and the voices of other people, we can find out that we have so much in common with other people on their wellness journeys. We can also see how much hope there is for us to move forward in our journey. Wellness for therapists can look the same as it does for all of us! So without further ado, I’d like to introduce Kelly.
Lauren Chante 2:01
Hi Kelly, thanks so much for being here.
Kelly Nicassio 2:04
Hi Lauren. Thank you so much for having me. I’m honored to be here.
Lauren Chante 2:07
Yeah, I’m so happy you’re here too, I mean, after six months together you feel like family to me, and I’m really excited to share your perspective and your story with our listeners.
Lauren Chante 2:17
So tell me where you were about six months ago when you first found me before we had started working together.
Kelly Nicassio 2:24
Sure. So six months ago, it was springtime. Earlier in the year I had attempted, well I didn’t attempt, I did another what I want to call, a diet because it is a diet. A diet in January to start off the year. Hoping this would be the year that I finally dropped all the baby weight from my second child who is three years old now.
Kelly Nicassio 2:53
It was somewhat successful. It was a 30 day Paleo based program, I won’t say which one. I found that in the end, I was not able to sustain it. I wasn’t able to keep eating that way and I wasn’t happy. And I was feeling really deprived.
Kelly Nicassio 3:14
So shortly after that I just went back to my normal eating, which honestly wasn’t terrible. I wasn’t, well, I didn’t think I was eating super poorly but I just felt like I needed some direction and guidance. And that’s kind of where I found you. I don’t know how far back you want me to go, as far as with my postpartum journey and all that or where I was before, but that’s where I was in the spring when I first started working with you.
Lauren Chante 3:45
Yeah, that’s perfect. And I just want to like step into your shoes after you had just finished that 30 day diet and you found that it wasn’t sustainable. Maybe some weight was starting to creep back on. Like how did you feel? In that moment when you just realized it wasn’t working for you before you decided to go and seek a solution and get some support.
Kelly Nicassio 4:05
I felt defeated and like, I’m a bright capable woman, so why can’t I do this? I have a master’s degree. You know, like, I know it’s not in nutrition, but I do know a lot about nutrition. I’ve been studying it just as a hobby for years. And I felt like, I also have a background in teaching fitness classes. I don’t teach any longer, I stopped after had my second baby three years ago, but I had taught for eight years and so I kind of saw myself as someone who knew a good amount about wellness. I should be able to do this. Why can’t I do this? So I felt very defeated.
Lauren Chante 4:43
Yeah, and I can’t tell you how common it is to hear that. Especially from bright successful women who are super organized and super smart like you are. I know your spouse is actually super athletic too. So you kind of can feel like, I’m supposed to be set up for success in every way. Like if I am not doing this then it must be me, right?
Lauren Chante 5:07
And you know as a therapist, that’s just such a toxic way to feel about yourself. So thank you for sharing that because I know a lot of people are probably like, oh my gosh, I can totally relate to that. I feel like sadly there’s a lot of people who feel that way who never get to hear that it’s not them. They really just feel like they’re the ones who couldn’t stick to the diet. But I love it when people find me and they can hear me say no, this has to do with the method that you were taught.
Lauren Chante 5:35
So you found me and I think you started using Your Daily Journal first and am I right that you dropped like eight pounds just from using the journal right off the bat? Tell me about that.
Kelly Nicassio 5:45
Yes, so I mean, let’s back up a little I had found you on a podcast probably a year prior. I think before you even started your own podcast, I’m not sure. And then I ended up on your email list. So I clearly had sought you out in some way. I don’t know how I did that but you’d been popping up in my inbox for a while! And then I guess I again started following you on Facebook. And so you kind of just crept into my life in that way. I don’t even know if you know this or if I’d shared that with you.
Lauren Chante 6:18
No, but I’m loving it! The business womn in me is so happy right now.
Kelly Nicassio 6:23
Yes, and so it was a slow burn, Lauren! So, I had purchased Your Daily Journal, and I started using that in April. And I immediately dropped I think it was like seven or eight pounds just by tracking using the metrics that are in the Your Daily Journal.
Kelly Nicassio 6:45
It was really fascinating to see how I hadn’t altered anything else. It was just tracking that was bringing my awareness to what I was eating. So that was huge! That gave me so much faith in your program and you and then you know we had that 20 minute break through call and then that was kind of the start of it.
Lauren Chante 7:14
Yay! I’m so glad it was because it’s been amazing. And I know that for a lot of women, it’s really scary to ask for help. And it’s even scarier to pay for help, especially when you have children and a house. You live in Southern California, which is not cheap, I know that from having lived there. What made you get to the point where you were like, I’m going to ask for help even if I have to take some money out of my budget to do it?
Kelly Nicassio 7:43
Great question because, and I said this to my husband because, it’s a big financial decision. If anything, I bring it to him first, right? I don’t make these decisions by myself. And so I brought it to him and I said, I don’t think I can do this without support. I’ve tried it and it hasn’t worked and I really feel like I need this next level of support. And he of course was on the board with that. But that was really what it came down to. I just needed that investment in myself.
Kelly Nicassio 8:16
And you know, as a therapist in private practice, I fully understand that when you pay for something, it adds value automatically. And so I knew I’m going to be paying for this but then I will value it and I will make it count. So I don’t regret a single dollar and it was a very worthy investment.
Lauren Chante 8:39
Yay! I love your perspective on that! It’s so good and so healthy and you’re absolutely right. People will commit more, make sure they get every single lesson, never miss a session when they have their skin in the game and it is a really big deal.
Lauren Chante 8:55
So fast forward. We work together for six months. It was amazing. What surprised you the most about the experience or the journey? What was unexpected for you?
Kelly Nicassio 9:07
I think there were several things but the one thing that’s jumping out to me right now is that it was so much less about what I was eating and more about everything else. It was about my marriage. It was about my my parenting. How I was feeding my kids. My schedule.
Kelly Nicassio 9:30
The logistics of my schedule and the amount of time you and I spent figuring out my schedule of when am I going to do a little meal prep or when am I going to plan dinner and when am I going to fit in my exercise? Those things were key for me because that’s where I kept stumbling. Those were the barriers that I had been facing when I was trying to do wellness on my own. So having you there to troubleshoot it with me even in like the minutiae, right? Like the little tiny details of my day, was so incredibly helpful, but also the most surprising thing.
Lauren Chante 10:12
Yes, I love that and it does surprise a lot of people because when we think of weight loss or dieting, we think of the meal plan. We think of the list of foods that we’re allowed to eat. Like there’s no diet book for Paleo or Whole 30 or Keto, or whatever, that comes with a marriage plan and a time management plan and a parenting plan and really in the end, like that’s really what most people need.
Lauren Chante 10:35
And I love that you used the word minutiae because I feel like for us as women, it’s usually all the minutiae coming together that make us want to quit, right? Like all the little things that are adding up that we feel like oh my gosh, this last minutia just got stacked against me and I just want to scream and not do it anymore. Right? So , you’re so right, you’ve really tapped into the value for that.
Lauren Chante 12:19
How is your perception of caring for yourself different than it was from before we worked together? Because, like you said, you had a lot of experience. You tried a lot of diets, you were in the fitness industry, teaching fitness classes for eight years. You came in with a very strong background.
Kelly Nicassio 12:36
I think that I see the wellness as, like you were just saying and capitalizing on that, on the small things right? It’s not just the big picture. I guess I just see it day to day. Every choice I make now I’m thinking of it as part of the whole. I don’t know, I know that’s a little vague but I guess I look at my wellness now as not so black and white. That was also part of my problem before. As a type A kind of perfectionistic tendency person, I can tend to look at things, you know, in one way or the other and kind of all or nothing and so you’ve helped me to just kind of see that progress is as important or more maybe even more important than the baby steps, I guess.
Lauren Chante 13:29
Yeah, totally. That’s so good. It’s all about the baby steps! All about them! If someone else was in the same shoes that you were in six months ago just feeling really like done and over it and broken when it comes to dieting, what advice would you give them?
Kelly Nicassio 13:49
I would say you deserve to have support. That you probably, if you’re listening or know Lauren, that you are probably a mother or a wife or just a woman who’s probably got a really full plate and you deserve this level of support. And you should invest in yourself because it’s absolutely worth it.
Lauren Chante 14:13
Someone feels like they just got a big hug from you somewhere in the digital audience land! I love that! What are the ways that this has impacted your life that have nothing to do with your body?
Kelly Nicassio 14:26
Oh, well I feel like a lot of it has nothing to do with my body which is again, so surprising but wonderful! I think early on in six months we focused a lot on things that had to do with my parenting. So, a big one was feeding my kids dinner. At the time, I was kind of doing two different meals. I would do an earlier dinner for them and it was kind of more kid food. And then I would make a separate healthier meal for my husband and I later because he gets home later in the evening. But that was totally burning me out.
Kelly Nicassio 15:07
I didn’t realize how much until I was talking about it with you. But just making changes to that whole structure of my of my evening was such a game changer. That also helped one of my daughters who tends to be a bit of a pickier eater. She’s a better eater now because of it. So, I had never anticipated that by working with you that I’d also be helping my kiddos with their relationship with food. So that was a huge welcome surprise.
Kelly Nicassio 15:41
It’s definitely changed my marriage in the way that it forced me to have conversations with my husband that were kind of difficult for me to have. It’s not easy for me to advocate for myself all the time. I tend to put myself last as I’m sure a lot of women do. As you know, a lot of us are caregivers by nature and so we tend to take a backseat but I was supported by you to have those kinds of difficult conversations.
Kelly Nicassio 16:10 As far as like I need this time in the morning to work out, how can we make this work? Or I need, whatever it was, fill in the blank. But having those conversations with him has really strengthened our marriage and you know, he’s a wonderful man and so he was open to all these. It was, honestly, mostly me that was afraid and just needed that little kick in the pants and support from somebody else to have those conversations.
Lauren Chante 16:40
Yeah, that’s so beautiful. And I want to remind everybody listening that Kelly is a therapist and her practice actually stems mostly around like parenting and kids, right? So like, it’s funny because no matter how much of an expert in an area that we are, when we come together with someone else, and we start talking through our life and talking through our crap, it creates just a whole new level of thinking that you can’t reproduce on your own. No matter how much of an expert you are.
Lauren Chante 17:10
In education, I think they call it Socratic Method where it’s like just the fact of having discussions in the classroom just really strengthens our understanding of things. And I think it’s really easy for a lot of women, especially women in like therapy, medicine, those different types of areas to be like well, I should just be able to do it myself.
Lauren Chante 17:30
I just really hope that people listening can hear that Kelly should have (I’m making air quotes because you can’t see me because it’s a podcast) should have been able to do it all herself right? Like that would be the mindset but no matter how amazing you are, adding that support and adding that discussion just creates a whole different layer of things.
Lauren Chante 17:46
It’s been really amazing to see you grow, Kelly, and to see your results and to see the results in your family. Even things at the end, I know we were starting to look at the way your business structure impacted your ability to work out and getting into some really deep things about your worth and like our place in the family and just so many things. So it’s it’s really cool to hear you share it with everybody.
Lauren Chante 18:12
Is there any last thoughts that you want to leave everybody with about this experience or about where you’re at now? How your life is different?
Kelly Nicassio 18:21
I would just say that my initial goals were weight loss focused, right? I came in with a number in my head. And I just loved how gentle you were with all of that and you didn’t knock me down or go ‘Girl, that’s either not realistic’ or ‘Okay, sure we can’ and grind, grind, grind.
Kelly Nicassio 18:42
There was just such ease with the way you coached me and there’s such ease in this program and that’s what you will walk away feeling is ease. Which is something I needed in my life. And I think most women can probably use. I wouldn’t say it was an easy process because doing the work is challenging. But then that is what makes it worth it and the result is more peace and more ease.
Lauren Chante 19:10
How confident are you that this is going to last for you? Because the method I taught you is going to be your lifelong method of managing your wellness.
Kelly Nicassio 19:20
I’m extremely confident I think especially because we did six months together. You know, it’s been half a year already that I’ve been able to create these new habits and stick with them and it’s been huge being able to have you along for the ride for half a year while I made those changes and made them stick. So that leaves me feeling very confident that this is a lifelong thing.
Lauren Chante 19:52
Yeah. And I feel like we should share with everybody like all the crazy stuff that happened in that six months because, let me see if I’m right! You were sick a bunch, like everybody in your house kept getting sick. I think like, did you guys get COVID at the beginning of all of this or, I can’t remeber if that was you or somebody else where you were sick a lot?
Kelly Nicassio 20:09
I got COVID the very first week here.
Lauren Chante 20:13
Yes, yes. I remember that.
Kelly Nicassio 20:15
And then my whole family was. Yeah. so that’s how we started things off was with COVID. And then I went on several trips over the summer which were fun things but that was a game changer being able to go on vacation and see how I can stick to my wellness habit that we’ve created and also still have your support. I even had a session with you virtually while I was at the beach.
Lauren Chante 20:45
Yes. It was so lovely to have that.
Kelly Nicassio 20:50
And then I mean you’ve been here with me through grief. We lost a close friend. Oh, my oldest started kindergarten which is extremely new. That might not be a big deal but for me that was a huge deal. Starting Elementary School is such a change in pace for our whole family. So that was really big and then we kind of ended our time together with more illness the last 2 weeks.
Lauren Chante 21:23
Yeah, but that’s so good. Like I’m sorry that all that stuff happened to you in six months but I mean, let’s be honest, that’s everybody’s life now, Right? And it’s, I think so important, I talk about chaos proof wellness, but like I really mean it.
Lauren Chante 21:37
I really mean all the different levels of chaos you can experience because there has not been one person who’s come through my program yet this year who has not gotten COVID during the time we’ve worked together or has not had some sort of crazy thing happening with their kids. So I know that people are gonna hear what you have to say and just feel so much peace that like wow, this is possible. I actually can make huge strides in the way that I feel and the way that my clothes fit, regardless of all the chaos that’s going on.
Lauren Chante 22:06
So Kelly, thank you so much for coming on and talking about wellness for therapists. I really truly appreciate having you and I know my listeners do too.
Kelly Nicassio 22:15
Oh, you’re so welcome and thank you so much for having me on so I can share a little bit about wellness for therapists!
Lauren Chante Thank you for listening!