Ever wondered how to pick a personal trainer? In today’s episode, I talk about choosing a mentor whose intent aligns with you and what you want and need. In an industry where coaches and personal trainers come from vastly different backgrounds and with vastly different intentions, it’s important to understand the deeper mindsets and focuses that can impact your relationship with a wellness mentor or personal trainer.
Disclaimer: This podcast does not constitute medical advice. You should always speak to your doctor before changing your nutrition or exercise habits.
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How to pick a personal trainer – episode transcript
Lauren Chante 0:52
Hey friends! As we continue our theme on relationships this season, I wanted to share a special quote to start this episode. The quote is from Becky Bailey and she says, “Our intent organizes everything in us. It enters the room before we do.”. I saw that quote last week and I just fell in love with it. How beautiful is that? Our intent enters the room before we do. And I realized, when I heard this quote, that there are so many applications of talking about intent. Specifically, talking about intent when figuring out how to pick a personal trainer.
Lauren Chante 1:28
Obviously, for those of you who follow me, I’m very big on talking about your intention for yourself. So many people go on a wellness journey because they’re hustling for their self worth. Their intention, realized or not, is to feel better in their skin. To feel better for the purpose of soothing the pain they feel surrounding their worth and value. They’re lacking the feeling of knowing they don’t have to do anything to be loved and they’re worthy no matter what. Right?
Lauren Chante 1:56
What I wanted to talk about today is a little different from that. Having been a veteran of the fitness industry for more than 15 years now, I’ve recognized some key things. I see that it’s important to understand the intent of the person that you’re working with when hiring a personal trainer or a wellness coach. The importance of figuring out the trainer’s intent. Seeing how it helps you when you’re trying to figure out how to pick a personal trainer.
Lauren Chante 2:10 I feel I have an unusual perspective as someone who’s been on the side of educating trainers. I used to teach continuing education for a very large, upscale gym. I’ve taught college exercise physiology. I’ve also done a lot in teaching and mentorship capacity both for fitness and wellness professionals. Through all of this, I’ve seen how the intent of a coach plays a role in figuring out how to pick a personal trainer.
Lauren Chante 2:39
Also, as a human being who comes online and shares my journey in a really raw way/. I’m very open about my life evolution. I think because of those two things, I’m going to bring this topic to you today. I think it’s really meaningful and really important to talk about. When you’re working with a wellness coach or a personal trainer, be aware that person is a regular human being with a lot of baggage. Almost all of us come out of life with some sort of unresolved trauma. It takes many of us many years to get to a point of true confidence in ourselves. Without feeling we have to hustle for our self-worth. That is no different for your personal trainers or wellness coaches.
Lauren Chante 3:29
I remember when I first got into the industry, I noticed that an astounding number of coaches were very young. I went online and researched the stats. It said that the average age of personal trainers was between 37 & 40. I honestly could not believe that. That has not been my lived experience working at gyms and being somebody who has gone to gyms my entire life.
Lauren Chante 4:05 I often find that many personal trainers and coaches are on the young side. Maybe they haven’t gone through a lot of the huge life changes and really embraced loving who they are. And it really can show up in their coaching and in the way that they treat their clients. I know for me, it showed up in my coaching and the way that I treated my clients. So, I don’t want this to sound like I’m up on my high horse because I definitely have been there. I just want you to be aware of how it impacts you as the person who’s receiving a service supposedly to be receiving wellness.
Lauren Chante 4:33
So let’s look a little bit at some of the intentions that people can carry into a room with them. And particularly look at it within the context of the fitness and the wellness industry. The first most common one is trying to feel belonging and significance. Belonging and significance are two really huge needs that all human beings have. I learned this when I was studying child development, and it’s been an ongoing theme when it comes to my personal growth journey as an adult.
Lauren Chante 4:55 When you go into therapy or you work on any mindset training, they still talk about belonging and significance. It’s even come up in in business trainings that I’ve done. It’s interesting because, in the fitness industry, belonging and significance is dictated by the culture of power in the industry. So that can be anything from, if you’re at a big box gym, maybe the culture that’s set higher up. Even the branding there are at some gyms. I remember in New York City, I think it was David Barton Gym, the slogan was “Look better naked”, right? And then Nike is the “Just do it”, the tough love attitude.
Lauren Chante 5:44
You have to recognize that the people that you’re working with are striving for belonging and significance within their organization. Which means that, if you need someone who has a softer touch, is a bit more understanding, or is able to guide you through bigger life things other than just what you’re eating & your food, you have to understand that you have to choose a place or a person to work with where the culture fits what you need. You need to recognize this and use it to help you when figuring out how to pick a personal trainer.
Lauren Chante 6:11
Also, sometimes when trainers or coaches are hustling for that belonging and significance, they might do things because their peers are watching more so than because it’s actually good for you. And having lived and worked in gym culture for years. I have seen a lot of trainers do some really stupid crap with their clients. Whether it’s really dumb exercises or pushing them too hard, or in the way that they speak to them. They’re trying to gain that belonging and significance from their peers. It really takes a very mature person to coach in their way. To coach without worrying who’s watching or what anybody else is thinking.
Lauren Chante 7:57
Another thing that I see really commonly dictated by the culture of power in a gym setting or a wellness setting is tough love, fitness, athleticism. The idea that being fit is just a choice and if you haven’t lost weight then you just haven’t made the choice yet. The whole JUST DO IT culture, right. Those are all things that, you guys know in my work I do not believe in tough love.
Lauren Chante 8:30 I do not believe in promoting thinness or think that athleticism is necessarily something that we should be pushing on people or that being well is just a choice. I feel that everybody would choose to have the best life they can possibly have. And if they’re not there yet, it’s not because they didn’t choose it. It’s because someone didn’t give them the tools that they needed to be successful. I don’t believe in the JUST DO IT culture.
Lauren Chante 9:02
So those are some other things that you have to watch out for. I also know from being in the fitness and wellness industries for years that there’s a lot of pressure to perform in terms of pressure to your boss. Proving yourself to coworkers is one thing but your boss is watching the number of sessions that you’re doing. They’re watching your total volume of income that you’re bringing in. And a lot of times, there’s a lot of really intense standards behind the scenes and personal trainers and wellness coaches are really not businesspeople.
Lauren Chante 9:35
I remember being thrown into working at a luxery gym for the first time. Being told that I had eight weeks to ramp up a full time client book . I remember just being completely deer in headlights because I knew nothing about sales. I didn’t know anything about marketing & I wasn’t sure how to get clients. That stress definitely made me act like a different person than I was. It made me treat people differently, made me coach differently and it didn’t allow me to be authentic to my true self when it came to being a coach. That was really too bad because my authentic self as a coach was pretty amazing.
Lauren Chante 10:00 I’m so blessed that, now that I work for myself in my wellness practice, I can be true and authentic to who I am. I don’t need to really worry about anybody else or anybody else’s standards. But it’s a very real thing trying to prove yourself to a boss and co workers. Trying to keep up with the sales benchmarks that a staff has for you.
Lauren Chante 10:32
There are other things to be on the lookout for when figuring out how to pick a personal trainer. There are also very interesting style things that happen with coaching when people are trying to heal their core wounds surrounding belonging and worth. So self-worth is a big one I know we kind of talked about belonging already. A lot of times they’ll try to prove that they’re good enough by over teaching you or overhand holding. They’ll be so accountability heavy, so motivational, and just sometimes even giving you too much information.
Lauren Chante 11:05
One of the things that’s really important for long term success with your wellness is developing self efficacy, mindfulness and independence. So, when you find yourself in a coaching or mentorship relationship with someone who is consistently hustling for their belonging and worth by over teaching and over guiding you, that’s actually preventing you from getting some very vital skills to be well on your own permanently. So that’s something really important to know also.
Lauren Chante 11:39
So when it comes to what you should you look for, in intent, when figuring out how to pick a personal trainer? For me, I really thought about this a long time! For me personally, my intent s to serve others and to glorify the gifts that God has given to me and to respect myself as a creature of God. Now I’m a very religious person, a very spiritual person, so for me, that’s like my highest and most ultimate.
Lauren Chante 12:08
I am not here to please other people in my coaching, I am here to do God’s work and to do God’s work as he has taught me how to do it because ultimately he’s the only one whose approval I’m hustling for. Right? And I also know that I don’t even need to earn it. But this is not a religious podcast. If you don’t have the same religious beliefs as me, that’s fine. I just don’t know how to convey this topic of intention without sharing my faith with you guys.
Lauren Chante 12:33
So, in general, I would just say, obviously I would love to work with you. But in general, let’s say you’re you’re looking for a Pilates instructor or a yoga teacher or someone that is not a wellness strategist like me and somebody else. You want to be looking for someone who’s really and truly devoted to service. Somebody who listens more than they talk. Somebody whose intention, when they come in the room, has nothing to do with anybody else around them. It’s just about you and it’s just about them. And that is so valuable and you’ll feel that in the coaching.
Lauren Chante 13:07
Like for me, when I encounter someone like this, I actually feel a feeling in the base of my neck. It’s very interesting, and it only happens once in a blue moon and sometimes it’ll even happen with something silly like when I get on the phone with a really great customer service representative. Sounds super weird, but that’s where I feel the feeling of being nurtured in my body. I feel it in the base of my neck, on the back side of my body, and it’s just this feeling of like, wow, this person is really like caring for me. They’re really mothering for me, this isn’t about anything else for them, other than really taking care of me.
Lauren Chante 13:43
And I will tell you guys, it can take a really really long time to find someone like that. I think when you’re new to gym culture or new to studio culture or new to fitness culture, you’re maybe afraid to shop around a little bit for someone that really makes you feel that way. You’re sometimes a little uncomfortable in the new environment and you don’t really know what to expect. You think maybe it’s you because you’re new to the situation.
Lauren Chante 14:12 I want you is to know that no, you really just have to look for gems when you’re looking for someone to work with in the fitness, wellness, Pilates, yoga, whatever field. In any of those fields, you just need to wait for the right gem! And it is in your best interest, especially if you’re doing like a private thing like one-on-one training or like even a small group program to really try to find the right person because it makes such a difference in your experience.
Lauren Chante 14:43
One last thing that I want to mention when trying to figure out how to pick a personal trainer. A true expert should be qualifying you based on your intent. They should know what your intent is be able to see not just intents like what’s your goal but, also, are you here for something deeper? Are you really just here for aesthetics? T
Lauren Chante 15:00 They should be able to qualify you as to whether you’re a good fit for them or not and whether working with you is actually an integrity for them. Not all trainers, coaches, strategists can work with all intentions. Some people are really just like, I’m a coach that helps people with muscle. That’s what I do. They’re not going to life coach you or wellness coach you. They’re going to bring you in and they’re going to work your body and you’re going to leave and that’s going to be it, right?
Lauren Chante 15:30
So pay attention to the questions that you are asked. If there are very few questions asked, and they’re just like, “Sure, cool, come train with me”., that’s a point of concern for me. I really think that the best coaches know who they work with and who they don’t work with. I have a very clear idea of who I don’t work with.
Lauren Chante 15:50
I’ll do calls all the time, whether it’s my mindset makeover calls, or my calls to talk about the Wellness Reborn Intensive, where I do not invite people to do my program. I send them somewhere else or give them other advice. I thank them for coming on the call and really enjoy serving them, but I know who it is that’s an integrity for me to serve. And who I best serve. And so that boundary really differentiates people who are coming into the room with the right intent.
Thank you for listening to this episode on how to pick a personal trainer.